Dolly Parton’s letter to Eminem shows how to make a connection that lasts

Beyond her 9-to-5 as a performer and prolific songwriter, Dolly Parton was also a master of connection.

That was clear in a letter she sent Eminem, whose given name is Marshall Mathers, following his 2022 induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

In a post on X on Tuesday following Parton's death at age 80, the rapper wrote that Parton's words had an impact on him, in part because "she definitely didn't have to take the time to do it."

"Even for a kid who mostly listened to rap music, she was an icon," Eminem said, saying that the two never got a chance to meet.

In the letter he posted, Parton offered praise while acknowledging that she didn't know much about rap. "I've come to know that you are the very best at it," she wrote. Parton added that she had long felt an "unexplained connection" to him.

Parton closed the single-paragraph message by encouraging Eminem to keep working and reminding him that he touched people "in ways you don't even know."

'Be a joy in someone else's inbox'

Her note to the Detroit musician, decades younger than her, offered a useful lesson in networking: A thoughtful message doesn't have to take much time — or come with a request.

"Often when we think about networking, we think about, 'What can we get from someone else?' said Molly Beck, head of marketing at the software firm uStudio, and author of the book "Reach Out." Yet it's usually most effective when it's not asking for something, she said.

"You can simply try to be a joy in someone else's inbox," Beck said.

That is a point people often miss about networking, said Peter Banko, CEO of healthcare system Baystate Health and author of the leadership book "The Necessary Goodbye."

"Networking is not about sending your résumé or conducting a transaction. It's having a relationship with another person," he said.

Parton made other similar gestures throughout her career. After Three 6 Mafia beat her for the Academy Award for best original song in 2006, she sent the hip-hop group from her home state a congratulatory note. "I'm just glad that the Oscar came back to Tennessee one way or another," she wrote, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

The power of a thoughtful note

The letter to Eminem shows how a small gesture can have an enduring impact, said Dorie Clark, a communication coach and author of the book "The Long Game."

As people become more successful, networking should become less about their own advancement and more about helping others, she said.

"The most successful networkers are the people who realize when you are successful, you need to steadily make it less and less about yourself," she said.

Clark said that asking people questions, being kind to them, inviting them in, and sharing the spotlight is ultimately good for both sides.

"That will do more for your brand than any amount of overt self-promotion will ever do," she said.

Even for someone as famous as Eminem, whose music came from a world far from Parton's country-music base, that kind of gesture had an impact, Clark said.

"She felt a kinship with him and knew that it would be meaningful to him to receive a word of encouragement," she said. "She was right, because he kept it and shared it years later."