- Business Insider asked etiquette experts about the topics people should never discuss at work.
- Wild party weekends, love life updates, and medical issues are details best kept to yourself.
- Judging others' spending habits and meal choices can be offensive and rude.
The workplace is not the proper venue for airing your dirty laundry or sharing controversial opinions.
Coworkers often engage in small talk, which is usually a well-meaning attempt at forming connections. However, some subjects or remarks can be misunderstood or come across as inappropriate in a professional setting, potentially straining relationships between coworkers.
That's why Business Insider asked four etiquette experts about the topics people should avoid discussing at work. Here's what they said.
How others spend their time and money
The lines between work and personal life can be blurry, but how a coworker spends their paid time off or paychecks is none of your business.
That's why etiquette expert and author, Jamila Musayeva, said it's important to avoid making scrutinizing remarks.
"Saying things like, 'How can you afford a designer item?' or 'Another vacation already?' may seem like casual banter, but these comments carry an undertone of judgment and jealousy," Musayeva told BI.
Coworkers' meal choices and preferences
Meal choices, including workday snacks, are often moments of personal expression and comfort. Musayeva said unwanted commentary about one's food choices can create an environment that's not inclusive.
"Comments such as 'That's all you're eating?' or 'You're eating that?' may be intended as lighthearted, but can come across as shaming or intrusive," Musayeva told BI.
Plans to leave the company or look for a new job
It can be tempting to share career updates with your colleagues, but business etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore recommends keeping them to yourself until you formally resign.
"Sharing that you are job hunting or plan to leave can undermine trust, damage relationships, or even put your current position at risk if management hears about it," Whitmore said.
Salary details
Suzy Lins, a certified etiquette trainer known as The Manners Maven, said people should never discuss their pay with others.
"Even though people want pay transparency and equity, you run the risk of making coworkers jealous or alienating them," Lins said.
Frequent mentions of stress and burnout
Although mentioning busyness and stress may seem like a way to connect with colleagues, it can sometimes have the opposite effect.
"Constantly framing yourself as the busiest or most overwhelmed can create unhealthy competition and guilt among coworkers," Musayeva said. "It subtly implies that those who prioritize boundaries or balance are less committed."
Recaps from your scandalous weekend
According to Whitmore, it's best to avoid sharing stories about your weekend, especially if your behavior may be perceived as unprofessional.
"Bragging about your heavy partying, hangovers, or illicit behavior outside work can make you appear irresponsible," Whitmore said. "This may also cause colleagues or supervisors to question your judgment or reliability."
Details about your love life
Jo Hayes, an etiquette expert and founder of EtiquetteExpert.Org, said it's best to avoid discussing your love life with your coworkers, as this can quickly blur personal and professional boundaries.
"Your love life is a personal topic and reveals far too much vulnerable information about your private life," Hayes told BI.
Deep dives into medical and health troubles
In addition to oversharing personal relationship details, Hayes recommends keeping medical and health information private for similar reasons.
"Even when needing to take time off work for medical or health reasons, there is often no need to disclose what that health reason is," Hayes said.
Keeping your update short and sweet is sufficient.
