- My husband and I have moved six times in the last decade in search of a place that felt like home.
- We've struggled in our search until realized loving where you live takes effort and commitment.
- After some self-reflection, we've finally settled down and committed to building a home.
My husband and I have occupations that have allowed us the freedom to live anywhere we want within the United States, which has been a blessing and a curse.
With a penchant for adventure and the whole country at our fingertips, we've had a hard time choosing a single place to settle down.
Newly married and in our mid-20s, we left our shared hometown Atlanta, Georgia, and headed west for Denver in 2014.
We were hungry for change and eager to find a place that felt like a better fit for us than our home ever had.
Denver was great until the novelty wore off
When we first got to Denver, we loved it. We were obsessed with the beauty of the West and eager to drink in every new experience.
We were hiking, camping, and road-tripping as if we were the first people to ever discover mountains. We'd never felt more alive and free.
However, after over a year of non-stop adventure, the novelty began to fade, and we were surprised to find ourselves longing for the familiarity of the same home we'd been keen to leave before.
Giving in to the pull, we moved back to Atlanta in 2016— a U-turn that would start a trend.
We regretted our choice almost immediately. Desperate for the freedom we'd felt in Denver, we moved back as soon as possible (in 2017, less than a year later).
Becoming parents made finding the perfect home feel even more crucial
Shortly after returning to Denver, we had our daughter, which raised the stakes in our search for place perfection. We wanted to give her a great life and thought finding an ideal place to do so was essential.
We fantasized about raising her in an idyllic setting in the mountains, but our eyes were bigger than our budget, so we settled for what we hoped would be the next best thing — a small city in a mountainous state.
From Denver, we moved to Fort Collins, Colorado, in 2019 (it didn't feel right at the time), then to Bend, Oregon, in 2020 (in pursuit of closer mountain access), and then back to Fort Collins in 2021 (when we missed Colorado, again).
Our third move back to a place we didn't love the first time was a wake-up call and a catalyst for introspection.
My husband and I have since discovered that a) we both have ADHD, which means we crave change and forget our lessons easily, b) we've put too much pressure on finding the perfect setting for our daughter's childhood, and c) a place alone can't provide lasting contentment.
A new place can bring novelty only for a little bit. However, liking where you live long-term requires putting in the effort to make it feel like home.
We've found clarity and have settled down
Despite our nomadic start to adulthood, we're now staying put.
Thanks to therapy and personal development work, my husband and I have found the healing and contentment in ourselves that we always hoped to find in a place.
We also know we can give our daughter a loving, supportive childhood wherever we are — our presence matters more than our location.
Now, instead of looking to other cities and wondering if the grass is greener, we're watering the grass in our own backyard in Fort Collins.
We know we need a village, and now that we've done some internal work, we're committing to building one where we are instead of seeking it out somewhere else.
After all, cultivating community and familiarity takes time.
We're confident we can find contentment in Fort Collins by making an effort to do so since it has our basic requirements for employment opportunities, housing, amenities, and recreation.
Although we're still explorers at our core, we now get our fill of adventure through travel and local exploration instead of moves while also getting to soak in the goodness that comes with building a home.
This story was originally published on March 27, 2024, and most recently updated on February 26, 2025.
