- DOGE has asked federal workers to list five things they did last week in an email due Monday night.
- Would you do it? Or just be mad about it?
- We want to know! Tell us in this form.
Let's say you're a great employee. You're diligent, hardworking, effective, and well-liked around the water cooler. You file your expense reports on time, remember the names of your coworkers' kids, and never microwave fish in the kitchenette.
Or maybe you're bad at your job and a nightmare to be around. I don't know your life, and I don't judge. Either way.
Suddenly, your boss's boss's boss (or some vague HR group but not quite HR) is asking you for a list of five things you did last week. And if you don't respond to the email by midnight, it will count as your resignation.
I know this sounds improbable, but just close your eyes and picture it.
So, what do you do?
Do you say, "screw this," and not reply because it seems like a ridiculous mind game meant to intimidate you and devalue the actual work you do?
Do you respond with some form of malicious compliance, listing off some stupid answer — maybe just a single word for each bullet point, or something 10,000 words long and trollish? Maybe use this AI chatbot?
Or do you just accept that this is another annoying requirement at work, like a two-hour compliance training webinar or eating sheet cake at 11 a.m. for the boss's birthday, and just do the thing because you have to?
Or perhaps you view this completely differently — a welcome chance to boast about your accomplishments and remind your managers that you are a valued contributor to the team and the mission.
Perhaps it's even a chance to point out that you've been doing duties that are above and beyond your job description. Hey, you could even use it as a chance to knife your colleagues in the back and write down, "Taught Steve how to add rows in Excel (again)."
(Steve, you know what you did, and you had it coming.)
I want to know what you, an actual human person, would do in this situation. Obviously, there are many federal workers who are figuring this out and weighing these options right now. But, honestly, think hard within yourself and, like … what would you do?
Tell us! Here's a Google form to fill out. It's got a poll and space for you to tell us what you'd say. It's anonymous (unless you want to tell us who you are) and easy. Or at least I guarantee it'll be more painless than actually having to do your real job.
