- I'm preparing myself to deal with an empty nest, but my youngest is still living here.
- I recently realized she might feel left behind and lonely in the house with just me and her dad.
- I want to help her with the transition to being the only child at home.
I'm in the middle of what feels like a long transition period.
One of my four kids is a young adult who has already moved out on his own. Another one of them graduates this year and will likely move away to college. Another opted for a community college but plans to move out in the next few years.
I've been thinking about what I want my life to look like when I become an empty nester. I've already been making changes — like trying to make some new friends — with that life in mind.
But recently, it hit me that my youngest daughter will probably have some similar "empty nest" feelings when she's the last sibling stuck at home with her parents.
My youngest hasn't known a quiet house since she was born
As the youngest of four, my daughter probably hasn't known a totally peaceful day since she arrived home from the hospital.
She was the travel baby — waking up in her infant seat to discover she'd been carted to a school play, T-ball practice, or school pickup. She had built-in playmates right from the start, though, of course, they bickered and fought like any other siblings.
Since I was a stay-at-home mom, even when her brothers and sister were in school, she was always going somewhere. We headed to the library, to storytime, or out hiking in the mornings because neither of us liked being stuck at home.
And now, when all of my kids are teens or young adults leading busy lives, we still have noisy dinners or pile on the couch together to unwind with a TV show before bed. Our house is still pretty active, and her siblings might take her on a coffee run or to the thrift store on a Saturday to hang out.
I'm concerned she might get lonely when everyone leaves
It seems likely that my daughter will have some time living with just me and her dad after everyone else has moved out. I can't even comprehend what that will be like.
The thought of just one child here at every dinnertime or weekend? We haven't had that in 20 years.
But it goes beyond just the fact that the house will be quieter. She tells her sister about school drama, and they hash things out together. Her brother jokes around with her, or they talk about mutual friends and after-school activities. They're involved in her life in ways that I can't be, and I think she's going to be lonely when they're not there.
I sought out expert advice
I wanted advice from an expert on all of this, so I spoke with child therapist Alisha Simpson-Watt of Collaborative ABA Services. She told me that yes, the transition can be hard for some kids.
"Siblings often serve as companions, role models, and sources of emotional support. When that daily interaction changes, younger children may experience feelings of loss, loneliness, or uncertainty," Simpson-Watt told me.
She also said younger kids can get clingy, moody, or anxious when a sibling moves out. The best thing parents can do for their younger kids is to prepare them and communicate a lot.
My daughter is older, but I know she'll still need some extra attention, and we'll need to communicate well with her. We'll also need to be ready to listen to her.
Simpson-Watt said, "Research consistently shows that children who feel heard and supported during family transitions demonstrate stronger emotional adjustment."
I'll plan some fun things for us to do as well
We may be missing the other family members, but we'll have time to spend together as a smaller family. Simpson-Watt also said it's important to continue with our regular family routines to give everyone a sense of stability and security.
I'll encourage my daughter to keep up her relationships with her siblings, even if they're not physically here as much. When my oldest son moved out, we all stayed in touch with texts and phone calls. He only lives about an hour away, so we also see him often, which has helped with the transition.
In fact, my husband and I were out of town one weekend, and my son invited his siblings over for dinner. He cooked for them, they played games, and they all watched the Grammys together. I was kind of sorry I missed it, to be honest. But it makes me very happy to know that my kids are forging relationships with each other that go beyond my husband and me.












