I've learned that stress-free travel with kids means breaking some rules

2 hours ago 2

The author poses at a pyramid with her family.

There is a lot of travel advice out there geared towards parents. Early on, I followed some of it.
After years of traveling all over the world, I've learned to ignore most of that advice.
Breaking accepted rules, like always getting an early start, have made our travels more enriching.

When I first started traveling with my kids, I pored over travel forums, soaking up every bit of advice I could find about making travel with kids easier.

Initially, I implemented many of the agreed-upon unwritten rules to make travel with children easier. Some worked, most didn't. I've now taken my children to 24 countries and road-tripped across the United States with them. Eventually, I decided to throw the rulebook out the window.

These are the rules of family travel I regularly break and what I do instead.

When we travel, we change hotels frequently

When it comes to traveling with kids, conventional wisdom says you should have a home base and take day trips from there. I can see how this approach can help kids adjust more easily by giving them a familiar place to return to each night. It also means less packing and unpacking.

However, moving around makes my trips better. By changing hotels, my family covers more ground. For example, on a trip through Europe, we changed locations every few nights. This allowed us to see far more of the continent, moving from Rome in Western Europe to Warsaw in the east. Our trip would have been much more limited if we had stayed in Rome the entire time, even if we had taken several day trips.

Additionally, on a recent trip to Japan, I took a tour that ended in Kyoto. Instead of staying in Kyoto, my family moved to a hotel in nearby Osaka. Although Osaka is only about an hour away from Kyoto by train, my family saved several hours in commuting time by moving, allowing us to explore more of the city without being beholden to train schedules.

I don't wake up early to beat the crowds

Many travelers swear by waking up early to beat the crowds, especially with kids. However, sleeping in and staying out late works better for my family. I love not having to rely on an alarm clock while on vacation. Plus, knowing we don't have to wake up early means there's less pressure to cut the day's activities short to get back to the hotel to sleep.

The author's son outside of the Taj Mahal in Agra, India.

When we travel to warm-weather destinations, staying out late often makes it easier to avoid the heat. Magic also happens at night. My kids love visiting amusement parks when we travel. While massive numbers of families prefer to "rope drop" and rush into amusement parks the moment they open, my family relishes having parks nearly to ourselves in the hour or so before closing, usually with fireworks going off nearby.

We've also gotten to experience more only-at-night events, such as the fantastic carnival-like atmosphere that takes over the ancient medina in Marrakesh every evening, or seeing the galaxy appear overhead in the night sky over the desert in Wadi Rum.

I take my kids to places with complicated histories

Other parents tell me they would never take their children to places with difficult, complex histories. They think these places, which are often memorial sites, are too much for children to handle. While I understand their viewpoint, I want to get my kids out of their comfort zones when we travel. I believe allowing them to experience places dedicated to the victims of war and other atrocities, where these events took place, will make them more understanding, compassionate adults. I prepare my children by reading age-appropriate books and talking to them about where we are going in advance.

In Poland, my children visited the Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial and Museum, which stands on the site of a former concentration camp. In Japan, we visited Hiroshima, where my children witnessed firsthand the devastation and destruction of nuclear war. They learned about the suffering of the children of Hiroshima and how to make origami cranes that symbolize peace. In Birmingham, Alabama, I took my son to several sites related to the civil rights struggle.

Although these dark periods of history can be difficult for children and adults to process, I think this is the best way to teach them tolerance. When my children eventually study these events in school, I hope their understanding of how they happened and how to avoid similar atrocities will be more acute because of our travels.

The author poses with her children at the Dora Observatory in South Korea.

I don't stick to kid-friendly trips

The internet is full of suggestions for "kid-friendly" trips. While these have their place, I don't believe anywhere is off-limits for kids. Children live in some of the most remote corners of the world, so there is no reason kids shouldn't be able to visit them, too. For example, so many people told me not to bring my kids to India because my kids would get violently ill (they didn't) or Jordan because it was too dangerous (it wasn't).

Everything in life involves some risk. Of course, I wouldn't take my children to an active war zone. However, almost every other risk can be managed with reasonable precautions, such as getting travel vaccines and being willing to change course if violence breaks out. Although my family enjoys trips to the beach and Disney World, I'm glad my children are having varied experiences.

I travel light

It's hard for a parent to scroll for more than a few minutes without coming across suggestions for "must-have" travel gear for children. On a few trips, I toted gear that promised to help my kids sleep better on planes, used specially made suitcases my children could ride on, and bought new shoes that claimed they would keep my children going all day.

I quickly discovered that almost no special products are necessary and I prefer to pack light. A small travel blanket helps my son feel more secure when we are away from home, so I usually toss that into his bag, but otherwise, we make do with what we have.