This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Joanna Stern, author of "I AM NOT A ROBOT: My Year of Using AI to Do (Almost) Everything." It has been edited for length and clarity.
When I pitched a book about using AI as much as possible for one year, I didn't think the work would overlap much with my parenting. But over the course of the experiment, I found that my use of AI was intertwined with what my sons, who are now 4 and 8, were seeing and experiencing.
I wasn't just having a bot girl summer, as I joked. I was shaping how my children would see AI — whether through driverless cars, robot cleaners, or even AI toys. Here's what I learned along the way.
Human connection is more important than ever
I used to worry about my kids coping with social media. As parents, we've heard a lot about the dangers of teens connecting with others online, and how it's easier to do so than to actually go hang out with friends.
Now, I'm hearing stories about people who would rather sit in their basements and talk to their AI companions than interact with other humans, even online. That feels even worse than social media, so I'm focused on raising children who value real human connection.
Kids need real-world training data
Because I have lived experience, I was able to check the information that I was getting from AI. When I created an AI lover for myself, I saw how different that was from my relationship with my wife. But kids (my own and others) don't have the same sort of experience adults have. They might see how frictionless interactions with a chatbot are, and expect all their relationships to be that easy.
That's why kids need their own training data to lead rich, fulfilling lives. I encourage my boys to ride bikes with friends, go to the park, or even be bored. Those are the types of experiences that will really help them as they move through the world.
AI shouldn't replace friends (or pets)
During the year, I tested a stuffed animal that could talk to kids using a large language model. I was thrilled when my son wasn't into it — what parent would rather their kids be talking to a toy than a human? Encouraging kids to talk to AI is a bad idea.
While the toy didn't capture my son's heart, a robot dog did. One day, I came down to find him cuddled up on the couch with the fake dog, while our real dog slept under the kitchen table. My son cried when I told him we had to return the AI dog, but I'm firm: no AI friends or pets. Kids need to learn to navigate relationships with other beings that get tired, cranky, and sometimes say no, not just with AI that is always engaging and available.
Kids should be digital skeptics
When my older son noticed that the praying mantis he had caught in our yard was turning brown, he asked ChatGPT why. AI confidently told him Manty was pregnant. So when Manty died a few days later, my son was devastated.
That was an important lesson, though. Kids need to know how to question everything AI tells them. AI is going to be how our kids get answers — just the way we rely on the internet. Teaching kids to consider the facts and their own real-world experiences, rather than just repeating facts from AI, is increasingly important.
We should regulate AI
My year of relying on AI crystallized for me how important it is to regulate AI around kids. That should be happening on the federal level, and soon. Personally, I would love to see us agree not to allow companion chatbots for kids or teens. We wouldn't let them talk to some random person, so why would we let them talk to some random chatbot?
My sons aren't allowed to use AI on their own. And for the most part, they don't want to. They might ask Alexa to play the music they want to hear, but they're most interested in playing pretend when I make them clean up from dinner. Right now, their favorite game is "robots." If that's the lasting impact of this experiment, that's fine by me.
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Kelly Burch has been writing about personal finance for more than a decade.She's particularly interested in how finances impact the most intimate parts of a person’s life, from educational and reproductive choices to love, immigration, or estate planning. Kelly has written about these topics personally and explored them with experts, including entrepreneurs, multi-millionaires, financial planners, and more.Kelly is a first-generation college graduate and homeowner who integrates her personal experience creating financial stability into her reporting. She’s a career journalist, with work appearing in “The Washington Post,” “The Chicago Tribune,” “Boston Magazine” and more.Kelly lives in rural New Hampshire with her husband, two children, and two dogs. When she’s not behind her desk, she can be found getting lost in the mountains and lakes around her home.Follow her on Facebook or Twitter, or learn more here.
