I'm an American mom in Germany. I let my 8-year-old walk to school alone — other parents asked me why it took so long.

4 hours ago 6

The first time my 8-year-old walked to school alone, I watched him turn the corner and disappear. I kept picturing the busy street he had to cross — at just over four feet tall, would drivers see him?

But he made it to school that day, confirmed by a quick message from his smartwatch. And when he returned that afternoon on his own, he was glowing with pride.

We'd been thinking about when to let our oldest walk on his own for years. In first grade, it wasn't even an option. His school was a 3.5-mile bike ride or a 30-minute subway and bus trip. Then we moved within walking distance of campus, and suddenly, his question, "When can I walk by myself?" was harder to dodge.

We finally settled on third grade.

In Germany, kids walking alone is normal

By local standards, he should have been walking to school alone for at least a year. When I told a German friend he was walking to school alone, her response was: "Why so late?"

In our Berlin neighborhood, the streets fill with kids heading to school on their own each morning. In September, younger children walk with their parents. A few months in, many of those same kids are on their own. On the subway in the morning or mid-afternoon, I'll see someone barely four feet tall, backpack on, navigating their commute as confidently as an adult.

When I ask my German friends when they first let their kids go alone, the answers are consistently earlier than I expect. But German parents are also consciously training their children to be ready for this step, something we did too. Leading up to the big day, I'd had him lead the way over and over, making sure he wouldn't get lost. We also talked exhaustively about the crosswalk, and I quizzed him on how he knew it was safe to cross.

But as an American parent in Germany, not knowing exactly where my child was — even for a 15-minute walk — made me anxious.

What changed when he started walking alone

Within weeks of that first walk, his independence grew.

Instead of having to remind him to pack his snack and get dressed, he gets himself out the door on time. I'll come into the kitchen and find him already eating granola and yogurt. He finishes, puts his dishes in the dishwasher, and then packs his own snack. He hands me homework or tests that require a parent's signature, and then says goodbye.

At school, he sometimes makes plans with friends and lets me know if he'll be home later than normal. Sometimes I get a quick message: "I'm going to the playground." I've been surprised by how much I love hearing that.

Wearing the smartwatch and keeping it in good condition are conditions for his ability to go places independently. Watching him care for it, and sometimes misplace it, gives me a glimpse of what life will be like when he gets a cellphone — which I hope is still years down the road.

It changed our mornings, too

There was a shift for us as parents, too.

His school starts at 8:30 a.m.; his siblings' preschool (in the same building) starts at 9 a.m. Getting three kids out the door in time for the earlier start used to be a mad scramble.

Now, I can move at a slower pace with the younger two. Our daily routine includes reading a book as they get their shoes and jackets on, something we didn't have time for before.

And it makes logistics for juggling three kids' schedules easier too. After school activities have become easier to manage, as I'm just thinking about how to get two kids home instead of three.

I still worry

He's been walking on his own now for a year and a half. I still think about that crosswalk. But he comes home on time, full of stories, and with a confidence he's earned by doing things on his own.

And I've come to see that he's more capable than I gave him credit for.

His independence doesn't go unnoticed by his younger siblings; my six-year-old longs for the day he can stay at home alone, or run an errand to the grocery store for us, or walk to school without his parents. We're not there yet.