- Jennifer Donnelly is a Dallas-based matchmaker who's set up hundreds of couples.
- She works with ultra-high net worth individuals, charging rates from $150,000 to $500,000.
- Part of the job, she says, is pushing back when what a client wants isn't what they need.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jennifer Donnelly, a Dallas-based matchmaker for wealthy individuals. It's been edited for length and clarity.
I work with some of the world's most influential people to help them find that compatible partner. My sorority sister is married through me, and the person who lived across the street from me when I was eight years old is married through me. It's such a rewarding career.
Out of college, I worked for a company that matched people for dating. It was a really high volume of people, like thousands, at a lower price point, and we were only matching people inside that service.
But I wanted to be able to meet the client, get to know them, and search all over for the right fit. So I said, if I do this again, it should be for fewer clients at a higher price point to deliver exceptional results.
I've been matchmaking specifically for wealthier clients for the past 10 years. Usually, around 30 to 40% of my month is spent traveling for work. I'm able to go search and hop on a plane to meet with a candidate and screen them. I can do things now that I never was able to do in the previous company.
My network and reputation built my clientele. One of my first clients was a well-known billionaire, and then he started referring other people directly to me.
My clients have incredibly high expectations, but I do too. My clients often say, "Jennifer, I think you might be even more selective than I am."
For clients, my rates are for a 1-year period. They start at $150,000, which is generally for a search within a certain city. Then $250,000 is typically for a whole state, and at $500,000, we do a nationwide search. We gauge the rate based on the market and size. The candidates never pay.
When I initially meet a prospective client, we go through at least two interviews, if not three. My clients are understandably very private, so I have to get them comfortable being vulnerable because I can only be as good as they allow me to be. I'll be a lot more effective the more information I have.
Often, wealthy men are used to people telling them what they want to hear. I don't do that. This is about being effective and having a successful outcome. And oftentimes that requires a level of honesty that somebody hasn't presented to them before.
Sometimes what people want and what they need is different. "Well, I want her to have an incredible career, to be a great mom, to be able to travel at a moment's notice because I've got a plane." And how can all of those things fit? Let's talk about what really matters in the relationship.
When we start, I explain it might take up to six weeks. But if we're at six weeks, and I have not found the person, I'm not going to just put somebody in front of them. I'll just keep looking.
We create strategy plans for each client. We create a profile of what we envision for that client, and then we'll say, "Okay, how are we going to find people like this?" and then we'll start working through our network.
The good thing is we're incredibly well-connected. It would be highly unusual if there was a candidate we wanted that I couldn't get through somebody I know.
It's important that they truly want a relationship. I always ask candidates, "Are you dating anybody? Does anybody think they're dating you? You could end up married; are you ready for that?" There's other matchmakers that can create dates. I'm really trying to create relationships.
We'll conduct sometimes over 100 interviews before a client goes on one date. We want to make sure this isn't a waste of time for the client or the candidate; we would like to think we're matching for both people.
As far as dates go, it can be as simple as dinner to something much more elaborate. The client can decide if they'd like to help plan it, or leave it to us or have their assistants plan it.
I love attending the weddings of couples I've matched. That's the prize for me. It's like, OK, I did it, this is why I'm in this profession.
But oftentimes the couple will tell me at their wedding, "Hey, please don't mention you're a matchmaker. Just say you're a 'consultant.'"
