I'm a Gen X job seeker who's afraid my gray hair is turning employers away — but I refuse to dye it

This as-told-to story is based on a conversation with Elizabeth Davis, a 59-year-old based outside D.C., who previously worked in communications. Her identity and application count have been verified by Business Insider. This story has been edited for length and clarity.

Just over a year ago, I was laid off from Broadcom. I did internal communications and employee engagement, and it was a total dream job.

I started looking for a role in October 2024, and I've come close a number of times. But most of the jobs have either been less than half of my previous salary, or the company decided to go with someone else.

The first interview always goes great. They say something like, "You're exactly what we're looking for," and then it's crickets.

I have submitted upwards of 500 applications to a range of jobs since starting my job hunt. I'm looking at manager positions, all the way down to roles that require five years of experience.

It's always great when I get a phone call from a recruiter, but when it's on a video, they can see I have gray hair — and I realize that may be hindering me. I think there's a perception that if you're older, you are technology-ignorant, and in this market you can't be. They forget that if you want to learn something you can.

Based on my husband's recent experience looking for a job, I knew it would be a tough road — and I soon realized that my gray hair might be perceived negatively.

A recruiter recently said to me, "Have you thought about coloring your hair?"

I tried to laugh it off, and I said, "Yes, I have thought about it."

I don't want to change my identity to get a job

I understand that it's a tight market, especially now with the government shutdown and so much uncertainty — but I wish that people would suspend their own biases.

I live in an Orthodox Jewish community, and I have toyed with borrowing a friend's wig. I could also just color my hair for this job search.

Davis trying on her friend's wig. Elizabeth Davis

I normally keep my hair super short. That, and bright colored glasses, is sort of my trademark look. I run the risk of having to choose between being my authentic self and compromising my integrity.

I look at my age as a competitive advantage. I've earned this gray hair. I was just reading an article in "Scientific American" about how older workers have the cognitive ability to cut through the noise. We have more life experience, so we can see what's urgent and distinguish between a real crisis and a manufactured crisis.

I don't think anyone has the answers

I feel like in this environment, there's no one answer. There's nothing to say that even if I made my hair brown again, it would get me in the door.

I've had three different professional job coaches look at my résumé and give input — and each one gave me totally different counsel.

If you look at my résumé, I've eliminated positions prior to when I joined Boeing in June of 2000, but that's already 25 years of experience right there.

One job coach told me I can take all the dates off and keep the most current position. I don't know how I could get by with that. My résumé would be missing any narrative of how I launched into a role that clearly would have taken years to get to.

Another job coach said, "why don't you chop the years of Boeing in half?" I left Boeing in 2016. I feel like if I only included half the years I worked there, it would come up if they did a reference check.

I've taken all the dates of my education off, and I'm happy to try leaving dates out completely. I've also considered restructuring it entirely to be a list of former employers, focusing solely on accomplishments.

But at the end of the day, it's not really about coloring my hair. It's that I'm proud of my gray hair. As I'm getting older, I refuse to just say, 'I'm done.' There's still a lot of life left and a lot that can be contributed.