I'm a federal contractor trying to get out of government work. I'm worried my entire education and career will be worthless.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with a federal contractor for the Department of Defense in the Washington, DC, metro area. They've asked to be anonymous for fear of job repercussions. Business Insider has verified their identity and employment. The essay has been edited for length and clarity.

My end goal was to work on the Hill, or at the very least somewhere inside the policy-making area of the federal government. That's what I would have said my end goal was if you'd asked me in high school.

I came from Texas for school, did one year at a college in New York, and transferred to American University because I wanted to have experience on the Hill. I wanted my foot in the door to better understand how to get a job with the federal government.

I stayed in the area because it's the hub for all things government.

I got my master's because I was having a hard time breaking into the policy field. I've been told that it really helps, especially in the early stages of your career. I'm glad I did because it ultimately landed me at least two jobs, so I still stand by the decision.

Even if you had told me back in 2020, when I entered the program, that Trump was going to be elected and throw a wrench into everything, I would still do it — but I would still have my same worries now.

I interned twice on the Hill — once during my undergraduate and once during my graduate studies. I worked for the Democrats, for a Department of Defense procurement firm, and then worked in the veteran space for a year and a half. I left to come to my current company.

I'm a Department of Defense contractor — a policy analyst providing contract support to a DOD office. This is the first position I've actually been inside the government, the first time I've received any credentials from the federal government.

Job security is definitely not 100%, but I do feel safer because I'm in the Department of Defense space.

Still, my thinking was that the administration could take a cleaver to the federal government — to my field — and make it to where my degree would not be worth anything.

The first Trump term wasn't as disruptive

Trump was elected during my sophomore year at American.

American University would bring in people from the state department or other federal governments for seminars, and they said it was still business as usual.

I didn't get the sense that there was a slowdown or that hiring took a hit during Trump's first term.

The first term and the second term have been night and day.

I didn't think that it would be as hostile as it is now.

There have been massive repercussions for my field and people I went to school with.

One friend worked for the Office of Personnel Management for a month and a half into this administration. They're still looking for a new job.

My LinkedIn feed for the first two months of this term has just been people posting, "I am looking for work. I can no longer work for this thing. The RIF hit me."

I'm looking for work outside the government

I am submitting résumés — not nearly as much as if I were unemployed, but I am submitting résumés.

There's definitely more stress. The job postings for anything related to the government kind of cratered. So if I did get laid off, it might be "What can I get?" rather than, "Can I see myself working for this company?"

I used to want to break into federal government work because of security, pension, and all of that good stuff, in addition to civic service.

Right now, I would not touch a federal job with a 10-foot pole.

It would have to be a really, really sweet job — one that I would die for. Right now, though, if you offered me a federal job, I probably wouldn't take it.

Before, I was prioritizing federal positions — things inside the federal government sphere. Now, if it touches policy at all, I'm looking at it.

I am stressed and worried at work every day

The office I support lost several people, and they're expecting to lose more.

I am worried every day I log on. I'm worried about waking up to a notice from my boss saying, "Hey guys, we have a meeting with HR today," or hearing the news that the contract's gone.

I've set up news alerts for anything Pete Hegseth, because he's announcing cuts in contracts.

Anytime I hop on a meeting with the government, I am petrified that something's going to happen.

I can't focus. I have trouble sleeping. I have anxiety.

I've severely cut back on my discretionary spending. Before, I put 20% of my paycheck into savings; now, it's about half.

I've also cut back on personal spending. My fiancé and I now rarely go out to eat. Last year, we would go out every Friday, just to celebrate the workweek being over. That's gone by the wayside.

There have been less expensive gifts, and less traveling. I was planning on visiting my parents in Texas during the summer, now I'm really on the fence about that.

Before this year, I knew what was coming. I knew not only what the next day would look like, but I also knew what the next week and the next month would look like.

Now I don't know what work I'll be doing for them a month or two. It could be all the same, or it could be a lot more because they've lost people. And when they're going to need someone to fill the gap, who do we put that on? The contractor.