- In 2008 I had my first child, exactly a week after graduating from college.
- My husband still had a year to go, so I would work nights while he stayed with our baby.
- We've had low expectations about adulthood since, and don't expect anything from older generations.
With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I realized I was completely stuck in the snow, in pitch darkness.
It was around 5 a.m., I was six months pregnant and freshly married, on my way to the hospital to complete my nursing school shift rotation. The nursing program had a zero-tolerance policy for absences, and I had zero knowledge — or money — to fix the tire that had just blown out in front of a complete stranger's driveway.
Fortunately for me, that same stranger helped me get a spare on, and I waddled my way through my shift. But my husband and I, both still college students at the time, had precisely no money to pay for a new tire. I couldn't believe my luck when, the very next day, a check arrived in the mail for $500, proclaiming me the winner of a scholarship I didn't even remember applying for.
The year was 2008, and that surprise flat tire and ensuing check feel symbolic of what that time felt like — complete chaos, no money, and making it through in ways that sometimes felt totally random.
I graduated from college and a week later gave birth
In 2008, I graduated from college with my Bachelor's degree on May 10 and delivered my daughter exactly a week later. My husband still had a year of school left, so I became the sole supporter of our new little family. I'll be honest with you: neither of us had any idea that the US was in the midst of what would later be called "The Great Recession."
We had become adults — and parents — in the midst of a nationwide economic disaster, but for us, it was just normal life. Because we had gone straight from being broke college students to broke parents at the age of barely 22, the recession didn't even really impact us.
We rented our housing and spent no money on entertainment, eating out, or even clothing. We used rabbit ears on the TV and lived very simply. I worked the night shift while my husband was home with our daughter, and then we switched during the day while he went to school.
In 2010, we welcomed a second daughter and bought our first home. Back then, because of the recession, there were several incentives for first-time homeowners. For instance, we qualified for a loan that required 0% down, and we received an $8,000 tax credit the following year on our tax return. The cost of our mortgage was nearly the same as renting, and the house was near our jobs, so it made sense. And, of course, there's the fact that the purchase price of homes was ridiculously low, especially compared to now.
We learned not to expect anything
Things weren't all peachy keen, though — my husband had graduated with a teaching degree, and although it's hard to imagine, teaching was an incredibly in-demand job because of the recession. Every position he applied for had hundreds of applicants, and he was laid off constantly. We saw more pink slips in our first years of marriage than some people will see in a lifetime.
We also learned very quickly not to expect anything that older generations might have had. A secure job? Nah, pink slips keep you on your toes. Retirement? Nope — we opened our own account as soon as possible, even though I could only afford to put in $25 a month. Childcare? Opposite shifts for life, thanks. Maternity leave or any type of parental support whatsoever? Never heard of it.
Our privileges, such as being white, able-bodied, and having access to college in the first place, afforded us huge advantages to enter adulthood and parenthood during a recession. But the realities of entering adulthood at that time, in many ways, also set us up for a lifetime of low expectations. Truthfully, I've realized how low my expectations are, especially in the last year or so. We have expected nothing from childcare to healthcare to even basic work-life balance.
We are cutting our spending again
I'm almost 39 with a kid about to graduate from high school (yes, the one I was pregnant with in 2008), and just recently, I canceled some of our streaming services because we can't afford them. I canceled my gym membership, and I'm looking at what else we can cut back on because we simply aren't able to pay our bills right now. It's a lot harder in a way because I'm "stuck" in things like our house, with rising costs I can't control, like property taxes, insurance, and repairs.
But when I look back on that time, it does help me now because I realize how much of my life has always felt like waiting for the other foot to drop. So, a big part of me is just inclined to roll with it.
Maybe entering adulthood amid the recession scarred me — maybe I should be fighting for more or expecting better. But truthfully, if I can figure it out on my own, it feels like a win, especially compared to where we started.
