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- Dating apps are going all in on using AI to help daters find true love.
- But Coffee Meets Bagel's CEO said using AI chatbots to flirt could lead to an expectation mismatch.
- Instead, it's better for detecting catfishers and suggesting conversation topics, she said.
Artificial intelligence has entered the realm of online dating. But Coffee Meets Bagel's CEO says there's a mark it can't meet.
Shn Juay, the co-CEO of the dating app that has around 20 million users worldwide, said her team was exploring how to integrate AI into its app.
But she said using AI chatbots to flirt with potential matches was taking it one step too far.
"I'm on the fence about using a chatbot to represent yourself in the online app to flirt better," Juay, who is based in Singapore, said.
"You have to eventually meet your partner offline, and when you meet, there could be an expectation mismatch," she said. "Your partner might think that you were so engaging on the app, but not in person."
Coffee Meets Bagel markets its app as "for serious daters," showing users about 20 potential matches daily.
Ignoring AI is not the answer
For Coffee Meets Bagel, AI still has a place in the online dating sphere. Juay said that the company is planning to use AI to detect scammers and catfishers in its app.
"It is hurting the dating app industry because we see an increase in users who are using AI-generated photos to misrepresent themselves," she said.
Another useful implementation, she said, was using it to help daters ask each other better questions.
"Chats fizzle out because — in Asia especially — we are more shy and not great at asking each other questions after 'Hi, how are you,' 'What job are you in,' and 'What are your hobbies?'"
Several app makers are exploring ways to add AI to the dating mix.
Match Group CEO Spencer Rascoff said in a tech event in October that AI is "changing everything" about its dating apps. Match Group owns Tinder, Hinge, and OkCupid, among others.
In April, Tinder released "The Game Game," an interactive AI chatbot that allows users to practice flirting for five minutes in "over-the-top, meet-cute scenarios." A Business Insider reporter tried the chatbot and found it largely unhelpful.
Grindr's CEO, George Arison, said on a November earnings call that AI would make its app a "magical experience."
Other apps, like Amata, Facebook Dating, Sitch, and Three Day Rule, work like AI-powered matchmakers, narrowing down the dating pool to appeal to daters experiencing swipe fatigue. A pair of Business Insider reporters who tested the apps found them slightly expensive but appreciated that they did the heavy lifting of planning dates.
And some daters are taking matters into their own hands, using AI as a wingman by getting tools like ChatGPT to craft Hinge bios and come up with pickup lines.
Coffee Meets Bagel conducted a survey in November with 1,050 of its users in the US, aged 21 to 35. About 80% said they were comfortable with AI assisting them with dating, such as helping decide who to respond to first based on compatibility and responding to common questions.












