- I've attended hundreds of weddings as a bridesmaid-for-hire, and I'm not sold on open bars.
- Receptions with open bars get pricey, and I've seen many guests drink too much and cause issues.
- Cash bars are a great way to save money on a wedding and worry less about rowdy drunken guests.
An hour into the reception, hotel security barged onto the dance floor to help break up a fight between the groom's friends and the bride's cousins.
Just minutes earlier, the group was hunched over the open bar, throwing back free shots and emptying bottles of tequila as if they were bartenders at a Vegas nightclub.
As I watched fists hit faces, I couldn't help thinking that all of this drunken chaos might've been prevented if the couple hadn't had an open bar.
At many modern American weddings, guests expect an open bar where they can toss back as many alcoholic drinks as they desire.
However, after working hundreds of weddings as a hired bridesmaid for strangers, I'm not completely sold on them.
I've seen couples go into debt because they didn't account for their open-bar costs, and others hysterical during the reception because a guest's drunken antics ruined their day.
Although the idea of having guests pay for their own drinks can feel taboo, I think cash bars can make a wedding great — especially if couples do them well.
With more limited drinks, you can worry a little less about guests getting rowdy
Not everyone has self-control around an open bar, which could turn your fun reception into an unforgettable one for the wrong reasons.
When I work weddings with open bars as a professional bridesmaid, I'm on high alert — I can count on a drunk guest almost ruining the reception at about 50% of them.
I once saw the bride's uncle grab the microphone from the DJ and ramble on about his failed marriages after ripping shots. At a different wedding, the groom's college friends were so drunk they started a fight that ended with a broken arm.
Without an open bar, guests might think twice about how much alcohol they are consuming — and that slower pace could help prevent infamous wedding moments that you'll remember for years.
Plus, nixing an open bar can save you thousands of dollars
Although prices vary based on the type of alcohol offered, the guest count (and what they drink), and location, an open bar can easily cost well over $25 a person.
At a large wedding, that can become a significant added expense that couples hadn't accounted for when planning their catering budget.
Instead, couples can skip the open bar and pocket that cash or use that chunk of their budget toward something they want more, like a dessert bar or a pricier photographer.
One couple I worked with used the $3,000 they saved on an open bar to fund half their honeymoon. For them, a week in Spain was more memorable than a night of wedding guests throwing back bottomless drinks.
Luckily, there are great ways to customize a cash bar or offer limited free drinks to guests
If you're eager to save money but want to still treat guests to a few alcoholic beverages, you have options.
A popular trend I've seen at budget-friendly weddings is limited open bars that are complimentary for the first hour or two before turning into a cash bar. That way, the couple can treat guests to a few rounds of drinks before asking them to cover their own.
Or, if you want more control over alcohol consumption, you could hand out drink tickets when guests arrive so they are given a few freebies before paying for the rest.
At a recent wedding I worked at, the couple had a cash bar but offered two signature cocktails for free. This compromise saved them money and let their guests sip on a beverage that was special to them.
One kid-friendly reception I worked had the bar serve only beer and wine, then added a mocktail station where guests could whip up non-alcoholic drinks with fun garnishes.
In addition, choosing to skip hard liquor and instead only serving beer and wine is also a popular option for cutting costs and still giving guests free drinks without fully doing a cash bar.
Money aside, if you're aiming for less of a rager and more of a dinner party, the mood can be set based on the type of bar option you choose.
You might face some judgment, but there are a few ways to prepare
Open bars are non-negotiable for a lot of couples and are the most popular drink offering at receptions in the US.
So, guests might expect to order unlimited cocktails at your wedding and could be shocked when they're asked to swipe their card.
Ultimately, though, it's your decision. If you're nervous about guests whispering about your pick or showing up unprepared on the big day, include language about your bar option on the invite or wedding website.
One bride I worked with sent out a wedding-week email to all of her guests with the itinerary, venue address, and a note about there being a cash bar. Guests came prepared to pay (and some even snuck in their own liquor bottles).
Either way, don't let the eye-rollers bring you down if you choose to have a cash bar or more limited drink options. There's more to a wedding than the freebies guests can score at the bar — we're there to celebrate love, aren't we?
