- Kelly Mackin grew up watching her mom work as a senior vice president at an ad agency.
- When Mackin went into marketing, she felt the same burnout she'd seen her mom have.
- Now, she promotes work-life balance and thriving at work.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kelly Mackin, author of "Work Life, Well-Lived." It has been edited for length and clarity.
When I was a child, I thought my mom was the epitome of success. She was the senior vice president of research at an ad agency in Chicago. Even as a child I could see that her job lit her up. Sometimes she would work evenings or weekends, but it was clear she was happy and thriving.
Then, her company was bought out. Suddenly, she was working most nights and weekends just to keep her job. I was only a pre-teen, but I could feel the energy shift from working extra because she was passionate, to working extra because her company was treating her poorly. Still, I idolized my mom, and I followed her into the industry.
I started to experience physical symptoms of burnout
Working in marketing in Chicago felt like "Mad Men" for modern times. There were screaming matches, whisky before 10 a.m., and regular all-nighters to meet unrealistic deadlines. I just thought that was the norm.
Yet, my mental, emotional, and physical health were suffering. My hands started shaking and my eyes twitched. I developed a sleep disorder and my confidence was shattered. I had only worked in the corporate world for about 7 years, but I knew this lifestyle wasn't sustainable.
One night, I ran to Chicago's Union Station to catch the last train at 10:30 p.m. It was winter, so the sidewalks were icy and slick. I'd been working since 6 a.m. and was utterly exhausted. When I missed the train, it felt soul-crushing. On the cab ride to my home in the suburbs, I knew something needed to change.
I left my job — and Chicago
I felt like I needed to leave everything behind, so I moved from Chicago to San Diego. I was so focused on my own wellness that I became an expert in work-life balance, and soon I was being paid as a consultant by companies and other workers. I'd found harmony, and I wanted to help others do the same.
Unfortunately, there's no one formula for work-life balance. Everyone needs to find what works for them. Some people like a clear separation between work hours and personal hours. I like a more integrated approach, personally.
On a typical day I get up early, starting work by 5 a.m. and working until about 10 a.m. That's when my brain is at its best, so I focus on the most intensive projects. I take a break in the middle of the day for errands, work out, or just relax. Then, I start working again in the evening on lighter items, like responding to emails.
Your priorities will shape what balance looks like for you
When we put expectations on how work-life balance should work, we do ourselves a disservice. You just have to follow what feels right, and what gives you vitality. Vitality has been a word on my mind a lot for the past few years, because I want to have energy for my work and hobbies. Sometimes, that means stepping away from work to go play beach volleyball or do a boxing workout. Other times it means working 12-hour days again, but this time, I'm reaping the benefit of that work.
Finding your balance can take some trial and error, but it starts with writing down your priorities, at work and personally. Then, take a look at how much time you spend on each. You might be surprised that how you spend time doesn't align with what's most important to you. If that's the case, it's time to adjust.
Not everything can happen in every season
Even with good balance, there's no way to fit everything we want into 24 hours. So, it's helpful to think about your life in weeks, months, or seasons.
Sometimes, you're more focused on one area during a particular season. Last year, I wrote and published my book. I barely left my house for 30 days while I was drafting it. I didn't go on vacation or out to eat because I was pouring energy into that project.
This year, I'm more focused on my personal life. I'm travelling to Mexico, to Chicago for my brother's wedding, and to Banff, Canada, one of my all time favorite places. When I have harmony between work and my personal life, I feel good and I know I'm thriving.
